5. On The Same Page? - Part One

*Just so you know, this was the most uncomfortable chapter I've ever had to write lol :( I hope it's okay and THANKU sooo much for the comments left on the last chapter :) and to those who commented on my newest fic, I really appreciate it :) Hope this is alright for you.*

Every voice in her head was screaming "No" once those words left his mouth. Everything suddenly became so scary and her body remained frozen as he continued to tend to her bloody hand. This had to stop. Now. She couldn't keep doing this to herself and knowing he felt the same way only seemed to hurt her more. It was as if her mind and heart were in a battle with one another, her heart yearning to spend every waking moment with him and let their love lead somewhere but her mind on the other hand was pulling her away from him. She couldn't deal with any heartbreak he might cause her. At least with Max she had security. Her marriage was one of the pillars supporting her sobriety and if that was to crumble she feared what would follow. Her mind was quickly winning this battle, but would it win the war?

"Nicki, say somethin'. Please?" He rubbed his head nervously, still in shock after he'd told her he loved her. She hadn't said a word in almost three minutes, an eternity in his thoughts.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Aubrey." Although she was completely panicked she seemed calm, almost as if she'd been waiting for this moment.

"Say it back, Nicki. I know you feel the same way."

"But I don't though. And I never will." She sniffled and removed her hand out of his grip. "I'm married, Aubrey. This thing between us has only ever been sex. It always will be." The shake in her voice showed her dishonesty.

"You're lyin', what about that night when we were shootin' for the tape a couple weeks back? You remember that? 'Cause I sure as hell do."

Her eyes flicked violently across his, trying to read his emotions. She had forgotten all about that evening, tried her best to block it out even. "I was just caught up in the moment, I shouldn't have said it."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, I'm tellin' the truth." Quickly glancing down at her lap she frowned harshly and pushed her chair back before moving over to the sink, the tears no longer being held back.

"I heard what you said, Nicki. Over and over and over again." She jumped slightly when he spoke, his mouth right next to her ear whilst he stood closely behind her.



The tape was still rolling, catching their intimacy in the dim light of his basement. The bedsheets became more and more crinkled and unkempt as their bodies moved against one another, the passion could be felt in the room but neither would acknowledge it. Nicki wasn't sure if it was the glass of wine she had or her genuine feelings coming though but she couldn't pull her gaze from his face. He was sat upright, staring into her eyes as she rocked back and forth on him. Every breath and whimper she let escape her mouth was given just for him and he was accepting them with each stroke. Completely blocking out the video camera's existence they both continued to maintain their eye contact with one another. Neither had ever experienced an emotional connection as powerful as this one. Her hands slung carelessly around his neck and his on her hips. He loved when she took control.

"Aubrey." She called out in a whispered moan and tightened her grip around his neck. Only now was she aware of the tear rolling down her face.

He gripped her hips more tightly and pulled her closer, her breasts pressed firmly to his chest. He could feel her heart beating. "It's okay."

"No." Moaning out more loudly she began to rock a little faster, her nose less than a centimetre away from his. Their eyes still locked into a stare. "I-I lo-"

"Fuck." He groaned throatily, interrupting her as he started moving her hips faster with his own hands.

"I love you." She allowed her hands to fall to the sides of his neck, resting her thumbs on his cheeks. Her fingers grazing the skin below behind ear lobes. "I love you." Saying it a little quieter she whimpered again feeling herself getting closer to climaxing. She repeated it over and over again as her body was sent into overdrive, the hot wave of pleasure crashing over her whilst she continued to whisper out those three words.



"Now, tell me it meant somethin'." There was only silence filling the empty space. "Look me in the eye and say it, Nicki." Firmly gripping at her arms he turned her around to face him. She was crying hard and although it hurt him to see her like this, he needed to hear her say it.

"I can't."

"Yes you can." He leant in to her, his alluring eyes pulling her back to that moment. "Say it." She shook her head slowly, only stopping when she felt his hands on her damp cheeks. The breath caught in her throat almost immediately when he grazed his lips across hers. The tingly feeling was intense enough to pull a soft whimper from her as he ended the kiss. Their first kiss.  It seemed weird that they had been intimate more times than either could count yet this was only just their first kiss.

It was as if there was no turning back from then on. There was no way in Hell she could walk away from what he was initiating. Her heart was beginning to take the lead in this internal battle, silencing her mind instantly as she stared into his face again. She made the next move, pulling him into an urgent and passionate kiss. Their tongues wrestling with one another as things started to get heated, making the little space between them disappear as their bodies pressed together.

Breaking the kiss for air she panted heavily, studying his lips before focusing her attention on his eyes. "I love you."

Nothing was said for a moment, but his voice relaxed her when he finally did speak. "I love you too."

***

Remaining motionless under the sheets Nicki continued to stare at his muscular back as she lay behind him, biting her lip whilst her mind wandered. She couldn't believe she'd let it happen again. But this time it was different. This time it wasn't just sex. They made love. A corny phrase she never imagined she'd say but that's exactly what it was. A long night of love-making, stopping to eat and deal with Mica once Carol dropped him off of course, but once he was fed and settled in his crib for the night, they returned back to the guest bedroom and continued where they left off.

Her focus was snatched immediately away from his sleeping figure when she heard Mica's cries. Another early morning for them. He'd got into a horrible habit of waking earlier than usual and it was starting to take its toll on her. Blinking slowly she yawned and carefully climbed out of the bed. They never usually slept together after they'd had sex and it felt weird having actually spent the night with him. But she liked it. A lot. Her thoughts began to filter through all of their encounters in her mind as she made her way to Mica's room. The most distinct memory being their first.



"What?" She smiled quizzically at him and stopped painting her nails to hand him the joint. She'd felt his eyes on her the moment she entered the room in only a towel. Her hair dripping down her back whilst she leant forward to reach her feet.

"Nothin'."

"Mkay." Squinting back at him she went back to painting her nails a hot pink colour. "Y'know, Chantelle's been givin' you the glad eye for the longest time, right?"

"Who?" He sat forward on her bed and pushed her pillow off of his lap, exhaling the smoke casually by her window. Silently thanking God her parents were out of town for the weekend.

"Chantelle, she's in my drama class?" She looked up to see his face deep in thought.

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Well, whatever. She likes you."

"So?" He passed the joint back to her and lay back on her bed

"So, Aubrey, you should go talk to her. Ask her out." She spoke matter of factly and moved on to her right foot. He was watching her multitasking, quite remarkably might he add.

"That's like me tellin' you to go ask Eddie out. Would you?"

"Why you bein' so difficult? She's a sweet girl, you're a sweet guy and she likes you."

"I'ont like her though."

"Boy, you just told me you couldn't remember who she was." She laughed when she saw a smile creep across his face. She was copying him until something finally crossed her mind. "Actually, I ain't ever seen you with a girlfriend."

"Sure you have."

"No, I haven't." Quickly screwing the lid on her nail polish she tightened her towel around herself and shuffled over to him. "Budge." Poking his thigh for him to move she took a seat on the edge of the bed once he'd made space for her.

"Nic, I see where this is goin' and honestly you can just stop right there." He took the joint from her once again.

"Aubrey."

"Nicki."

"Aubrey, serioulsy, tell me the name of your last girlfriend!" Her giggle made him smile. "I'm your best friend, I would know if you'd had a girlfriend before. Just like you know I've only ever had one boyfriend." She blinked slowly, the marijuana already having an effect on her dainty frame.

"I'm not discussin' this with you right now." He laughed and remained laying on his back whilst she stared down at him.

"Why not?"

"That's like you talkin' 'bout your boy issues with me. You wouldn't feel comfortable with that, would you?" Shaking his head with a small smirk he blew the smoke up into her face, she just ignored his actions and wafted it away.

"Well, if I ever had like, a super huge issue that I needed to talk to someone about I'd wanna feel like I could talk to you about it." She looked down and shrugged a little, her eyes glazing over. "So I guessed you'd feel the same I s'pose." He watched her as she studied her newly painted nails, the courage was finally building up inside of him. His admittance soon to be heard.

"Nicki..." He trailed off hesitantly. "I've never had a girlfriend before." Full of shame, he avoided her stare. At seventeen years old he found this the most humiliating thing. It wasn't as if nobody was interested though, because they were. But being too afraid to put himself out there he'd never asked a girl out and nor had a girl ever summoned the bravery to approach him either.

"Really?" She rotated some more to meet his eyes, taking the blunt from him and ashing it out in the tray on her side table.

"Really."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, Nicki." He rubbed his head embarrassedly. "I just talk shit in fronna the guys 'cause it's embarrassin'."

"Aubrey, you don't have to be embarrassed. Plenty of girls like you." He carried on avoiding her gaze before she started talking again. "Is that why you're afraid-"

"To ask a girl out? Yeah." He finished off her sentence. Something they frequently did. "I never done it before, let alone..." He trailed off. "Y'know?"

She answered more quietly, being sensitive to his embarrassment. "Had sex?"

"Yeah." Their curent state was loosening them up a little, sometimes a good thing. Sometimes not.

"Well, neither have I." He knew she was trying to make him feel better but he honestly felt as though he would never get out of this rut. Never be able to overcome his fear.

"But it's different for girls though."

"Why is it?" Her brows pushed together waiting for an answer.

"I'onno, it just is." Finishing his measly sentence with a deep sigh he lay back again. Next to him, Nicki's mind was racing with thoughts but she was desperately trying to dismiss them all. This was going to take all of her courage and to do that she'd have to push her fear to the back of her mind.

Letting her eyes scan over him she found herself stuck on his face. He looked so despondent and that's when she realised how much this was bothering him. Thinking about it now she only just connected this with his recent down and miserable behaviour, she just figured it was stuff to do with his Dad not issues concerning his virginity. Feeling the bed move slightly Drake snapped out of his thoughts and looked back to Nicki after hearing her exhale shakily. He felt her hand wrap around his, securely pulling it towards herself.

"Nicki wha-" He sat up instantly when she pressed their hands on to her upper thigh. He didn't pull away from the warm, smooth touch though. "What are you doing?" She folded her lips momentarily and just continued to stare at him. Her eyes and face told him all he needed to know but he shook his head dismissively. "Nicki, we can't-" He cut himself off once again when she let her towel drop down, sat naked before him in all her glory. The silence was almost overwhelming but he couldn't for the life of him tear his eyes away. Instead he let them roam every inch of her exposed skin, he didn't care that she was watching nervously. Unwrapping her hand from his she lay it on top and guided it, encouraging him to feel her. As soon as he started gliding his palm up and down her thigh she began breathing more calmly. The most intimidating part was over, actually initiating the contact. She had no idea what she was doing and nor did he.

The more she melted into his touch the more daring he got, soon adding in a second hand on her other thigh before moving his right hand to the side of her stomach. Gripping at her side gently as he ran his thumb over the skin on her abdomen. Their eyes met when he proceeded to go higher, grazing his fingertips over the soft flesh of her breast. This was new to both of them, it was like blind leading the blind which is exactly why it was the prefect opportunity. The pair of them being so inexperienced took away that intimidating feeling, not to mention the fact that they knew each other so well. It felt safe.

"You're sure?" He spoke quietly, his hand still lingering beneath the fleshy part of her chest.

Pulling the towel away from herself completely she breathed out to relax some more and threw the fabric to the floor. "Positive." Trying to calm herself was proving to be pointless, for with each pressure filled squeeze he gave her she began to feel more and more breathy. 

This new kind of physical contact they were sharing was extremely weird at first, but she was actually starting to enjoy it. Understandably his confidence peaked when he noticed this too. Taking in every part of her face. Her parted lips, her flushed cheeks and her half closed eyes staring at him with want as she breathed slowly but heavily. Suddenly feeling his trousers tighten he looked down at his crotch, making her do the same. He knew she could definitely see it. Glancing back up at her swiftly he lost his nerve and pulled his hand away. This was wrong. She was his best friend. Although they were both affected by the joint they'd so happily shared, he still new this was crossing a boundary.

"What's wrong?"

"Nicki, this is weird, we can't." He stood up and went to grab her towel from the floor. "It's not you, I just don't want things to be strange between us." Turning back to hand her towel to her he stopped when he caught her looking directly at his erection. It was still very much present and now level with her eyes.

"Why stop now? You've already seen me naked." She peered down at herself before returning her stare to his crotch. "I showed you mine, now you show me yours."

...

Okay, as you can probably tell, this chapter was WAAAAAY out of my comfort zone, like, beyond that and I was close to not posting lol but I did it anyway. Also you prolly already guessed but when the text is white it's a flashback :))*

4. Heated

That night Drake felt as though he hadn't had a minute of sleep. His mind was overdosing on thoughts of her and what happened in the hallway. The look on her face was a look he'd been dreaming of seeing for the longest time. Since they young, experimental teens. Honestly, he'd always been drawn to her. Just her smile and warm presence was enough but combine those with her humor, intelligence and looks and you have what he would call the perfect woman. The kiss itself was minuscule and to others would mean nothing, but to him it was everything. His thoughts soon transformed into dreams and before he knew it an overwhelming feeling of someones eyes on him disturbed his pleasant slumber. It was Nicki.

"Draaake." She smiled as her whisper stirred him. She'd climbed ever so skilfully on to his bed and was sat directly behind him as he lay on his side. Not getting a very energetic response from him she frowned harshly and crawled closer to his body before prodding him. "Aubrey? Are you sleeping?"

"Mmm."

She smirked and got on to her knees before leaning over him, pushing the camera up to his face. "Aubrey, wake up." The way she sang her sentence hit his ears more forcefully, waking him up in a matter of seconds.

"Hm? Wha-" He stopped quickly and squinted at the sunlight before pushing the camera away from his face. "What are you doin'?" The sleep layering his words was heavy.

"I'm seein' how you like havin' a camera pushed up in your face. How's it feel?"

"Annoying. I just woke up, you don't really wanna put that thing to work already. Do you?" He rolled on to his back as she lay down next to him on her side.

"No. I'm not about to do anything with you in Max's house. So, kill those thoughts sir."

"So what you doin' with Cammy then?" He snatched the black camera from her hands and focused it on her face. She was so perfect.

"I was just playin' with it. Is that okay with you? Mr Possessive." Raising her brows she smiled and looked him straight in the eye. She always drew him in with that stare. That smile.

"I got no problem with you playin' with my tools. Play all you want." He started laughing when her face showed that she knew where that sentence was headed.

"You're so wrong." Shaking her head, she tried to hold in her laughter. He was still filming her. "As if you don't care? You were always yellin' and cussin' at me for usin' your stuff in college and school."

"I was not."

"Yes you were." She made her voice go higher. "Remember that time I used your pen?"

"Yeah, you broke the lid and chewed all the end up, Onika." Her face scrunched up cutely as she tried to deny the accusations.

"It was an ugly pen."

"It was a gift from my Grandmother."

"It was still ugly, Aubrey."

"Yeah it was but that ain't the point. No wonder I never liked you takin' my stuff." He smiled at her dimples showing and sat himself up some more on his elbows. Her attention was soon drawn to his toned torso as she licked her lips inadvertently. "I saw that."

"What?" She blushed and looked up at him quickly.

"You lookin' at me like I'm somethin' to eat."

"Cocky ass." She smiled harder when he returned the expression but soon enough her smile faded. "Can I ask you somethin'?" Looking up at him shyly she continued to ignore the camera. She'd grown so used to it being on her she learned to block it out.

"Sure. I'm listenin'." He could see the words trying to come together in her mind but they were invisble to his eye. Changing her mind last minute she spoke up unsurely.

"Do you think Max still loves me?"

"Nic, of course he still loves you." He moved closer to her as she looked down sadly. Her real question was pushed far to the back of her mind. "You're the mother of his child and his wife. Why would you think he doesn't love you anymore?"

"See that's exactly my point, I feel like he's only with me because of that." She paused for second. "He hardly touches me anymore. If it wasn't for Mica he prolly woulda left me ages ago." She blinked multiple times, trying to hold back her tears. She wasn't making this up, it was something that often plagued her mind. Everyday in fact but only now talking about it brought a sudden rush of emotions over her. "And I try so hard to keep things on track but it's like he's not even interested, like he can't even stand looking at me." The barrier had come down and the tears were slowly trailing down her face. He hated seeing her like this. It broke him up inside.

"Nicki, look at me." He put the camera down and held her hands. "You need to stop punishing yourself. Obviously you and Max are just goin' through a rough patch right now but you have to know he loves you, he's a lucky guy and I honestly think he has no idea just how lucky he is." He wiped away a tear staining her cheek and continued as she stared into his face. "You're beautiful, smart, loving and any guy would be blessed to have you in their life. Yeah?"

She sniffled and looked down to his chest for a moment. "You really mean that?"

"That's the God honest truth, Onika. You're perfect, don't let anybody ever tell you any different." He sighed at the amount of truth in his words before pulling her to him. The way she fit into his arms and against his body was almost unbelievably perfect. Like they belonged. He felt a strong sense of protection overcome him when she inhaled his scent and sighed contently before snuggling into his embrace some more.

"Thank you."

"Aye, no problem." He kissed the top of her head and cleared his throat. "Where's the little one at?"

"My Mom called 'round early, she wanted to take him out for the day. I miss him."

"Nic, he's been gone what? A couple hours?"

"I know." She laughed into his bare chest. "But he's the only company I have, 'cept for you."

"He better company than I am?"

"Mhm. He requires less attention. He doesn't make as much mess and most of all he doesn't have any smart ass answers like you do."

"Oh, word? So you won't mind if I leave right now?" He motioned to detach her from him and stand up but she gripped on tighter.

"Nooo! Please, I was just messin'." Chuckling softly she refused to let him go.

"Good 'cause I'm all outta food at my place. What's cookin'?"

"Seriously? You're so lazy. I'm not cooking by myself. Come help me."She sat up and grabbed the camera, turning it on quickly and pointing it at him. "Tell Cammy what we're doin'." She sat back on her legs and folded her lips as she studied his body on the digital camera screen. She loved how he looked when he woke up in the morning.

"We're cooking."

"Cooking what?"

"I'on know, whattya want?"

"Bacon."

"Well then, looks like bacon's on the menu." He looked directly into the camera and smiled mischievously. "And if Nika's lucky I might throw in somethin' a lil' extra for afters."

"Oh? And what might that be?" She kept on talking to his image on the screen rather than his actual being before locking eyes with him.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?"

"I don't like surprises."

"If you guess, then technically  I wouldn't be tellin' you." He smirked and got out of the bed, pulling at the front of his briefs. Giving her the perfect view of his ass shortly before he turned to give her a frontal shot.

"Are you taking me out?" Her face was the picture of curiosity.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Shrugging off her question he pulled a pair of basketball shorts from the the dresser drawer and slipped them on quickly. "You want me to take you out? When was the last time Max took you out?" He furrowed his brow and moved back over to her. Staring intently at her face and ignoring the camera just as she did.

"Before I was even pregnant. He took us to this restaurant for our anniversary." She widened her eyes and looked down whilst giving him a small shrug. "So you're taking me out?" The little grin she displayed made him chuckle.

"If you wanna go out, I'll take you out. Where you wanna go?"

"Anywhere. I don't care I just wanna have some attention." She pouted and focused the camera some more.

"I give you plenty of attention."

"Not that kind of attention, fool." Dead facing him she soon started to giggle feeling his hands on her knees.

"I thought you liked that kind of attention."

"Mmm, I do." His hands moved further up to her thighs, making her lean back some more to keep him in the camera's view. In all the times they'd been in front of the camera he always filmed. It was his project so why shouldn't he? But seeing her handle the piece of technology gave him a little idea. Rubbing on the insides of her soft legs he let his fingertips creep up under the hem of her cotton shorts as she let out a blissful exhale. She was resting on her elbows, still trying to keep the camera on him as he touched all over her legs. Feeling his lips on her inner thigh seemed to wipe away any doubts she might have had at that moment. All she wanted now was for him to make her feel special. To make her feel loved. He moved down her legs all the way to her pink fluffy bed socks before he pulled them off and moved his kisses back up to her thighs, his eyes never once leaving the lens of the camera. Her breathing had become a little more heavy and exaggerated as he started slowly sliding her shorts down.

"You're not wearin' any panties?"

"No. You woulda just ripped them off anyways. You have no manners, Mr Graham." She spoke with exasperation whilst lifting her hips slightly, allowing him to fully remove the clothing from her bottom half. He spread her legs gently and began kissing on either side of her pussy before placing a soft peck on her other set of lips. The small, hungry whimper she let out made him harden and her feet had now taken their place of rest on his shoulders, ready for what he was about to do. Even mentally preparing wasn't enough for her. The instant he let his tongue make contact with her sweet folds she struggled to maintain her moans and keep a firm grip on the camera. He was showing her no mercy, sucking hard in between flicking his tongue in turns up and down and side to side. She felt her eyes shutting and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth feeling the surge of pleasure rising within herself. It felt so good, she wanted it to last but knew he'd have her cumming in a matter of seconds, especially if he kept this tongue action up. All the while he continued to eat her pussy like he'd never done so before, her moans and the way she called his name were arousing him more and more. He needed her around him.

Speeding up his movement he tried something he was sure would have her exploding all over his face, taking her clit into his mouth he sucked hard and moved his head side to side and just as he thought, her moans intensified and soon sounded more like short, high pitched screams before she came. He had no idea how but when he removed his face from between her legs he saw she still had the camera pointing down at him and she'd miraculously managed to stay upright on her elbows. She was trying hard to recover and get her breathing straight as she stared at him passionately. He knew that look. Crawling over the top of her he forced her to move back and lay in the middle of the bed before taking the camera from her. Usually he'd have it set up on a tripod but obviously he didn't have one with him so decided to try something new.

"Take my shorts off." He leant on one elbow as he held the camera with the other. Watching her lean down to do what he ordered. Once she was done she lay back down and ran her hands up and down his sides. "Now take you shirt off."

***

She was still laying on her front, totally spent after he had her on her hands an knees until she couldn't hold herself up anymore. The shaking of her legs and arms was too much to bear and she only just managed, with his help, to stay in position before he pulled out and came on her back. He was still laying next to her, only he wasn't laying on his front.

"Listen, Nicki I need to talk to you 'bout somthin' and I want you to tell me honestly how you feel, 'kay?"

"Mmkay, what is is?" She wrinkled her brow and continued to stare at the side of his face.

"It's about the tape actually."

"Okay, go ahead." She moved on to her side and kept her eyes on him.

"Well, some of the things I had in mind require for some extra things."

"Like, what kinda things, Drake?"

He blinked and tried to gather his sentence. He was evidently worrying about how to approach whatever it was he wanted to say. "Well, for starters I need for someone else to be handlin' the camera whilst we.....Y'know? And secondly I was thinkin' about maybe bringin' in another girl I've been seein' for a while." There was complete silence once he'd said his piece. Now she knew why he was so touchy about asking, he already knew how she was going to react. And he was right.

"Wait a second, so you're tellin' me that not only do you want some other dude to be in the room whilst we get it on but you want us to have a threesome? Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!" She moved away from him angrily and snatched her tank top from the floor along with her shorts and threw them on swiftly.

"Nicki, would you just stop for a minute?" He followed closely behind her after slipping back into his shorts, she was making her way to the kitchen. Her temper flaring the more he spoke.

"Stop for what, Drake? So you can tell me how much this project means to you and guilt me into doin' somethin' I'm not comfortable with?" She shook he head. "I can't do that, I'm sorry. Go find some other bitch that'll drop her panties for you. Maybe the girl you had lined up for that threesome." She spat fiercely and began pulling out pans and pots to make dinner. She hated that. Sometimes when she was with him she'd end up wasting her whole day just doing nothing and loving every second of being with him and before she knew it the night was upon them again.

"Seriously? You're upset 'cause I suggested havin' another girl with us?" He hadn't given up following her and was now leaning against the island in the kitchen, watching her as she slammed the utensils around.

"I'm not supposed to be upset about that?" she squinted. "Do what you want, it's your film, your career and your choice. I'ont give a fuck, Aubrey. But what I won't be doing is havin' you sexin' up some other girl whilst we're in the same fuckin' bed!" She became quiet almost immediately when she realised what she'd said. His facial expression told her he'd caught it as well.

"So that's what this is all about, Nicki? You're jealous?"

"I never said that, you're twisting my words." Quickly turning around she proceeded to start cutting the vegetables. Forcing the tears back until she felt his hand over hers on the knife. "Why didn't you tell me about her?" His face scrunched up angrily at how she was changing the subject.

"Tell you about who?!"

"The girl, Aubrey! The one you been seein' for a while!" She put air quotes around her sentence, repeating what he'd said upstairs. "You never once mentioned to me about this girlfriend of yours!"

"I just didn't think it was that important! So what? I been sleepin' with a girl I'm seein'! We only share a sexual link, remember? It's not cheating and besides, what does it matter if I was? You're still fucking married, Onika!"

"Don't turn this around on me! You knew I was married when we got into this so don't you dare fucking play that card!" She slammed her hand down quickly but hissed when she felt the knife blade cut into the skin on her palm.

"See, this is where your fuckin' temper gets you!" He sighed frustratedly and shook his head. "C'mere."

"Don't! I can handle it myself." She snatched her arm away from him but he ignored her angry mouth and took her hand firmly into his before running it under the tap. It was a fairly deep cut, indicating just how roughly she must have slammed her hand down. She'd given up protesting and sobbed silently, facing away from him whilst he carried on rinsing her cut.

"There, keep it elevated while I go find somethin' to cover it with. Where's you first aid kit?"

"Cupboard next to the refrigerator." Her voice was low and solemn. He returned within seconds clutching the green bag before rummaging through it and finding what he needed.

"Come sit down." After pulling a chair out for her he sat on the one next to her and brought her hand closer to himself as he cleaned it with antiseptic and started wrapping the bandage around the wound. She remained quiet.

"That hurts."

"I need to put pressure on it to stop the bleedin', so it's gonna hurt." She never responded. "Nicki, what the hell is goin' on with you right now?" The atmosphere was still full of tension but the yells and screams had stopped, bringing an element of peace and calmness to their situation.

"You can't figure it out from everythin' I said just before?" She was trying to drop hints but he was annoyingly oblivious.

"You feel unwanted and unloved. But you can't see it."

"See what?" She looked fed up at this point, like she thought he was about to spin a lie to keep her happy.

"How much you mean to me."

"I'm your best friend, okay I get that but sometimes I-"

"I see you as more than a best friend, Onika." The silence sounded so loud as he kept up with his bandaging. He wasn't looking at her but he knew she was speechless.

...

*Thanks so much for all the previous comments, hope this was okay, I know it was a little boring but it'll lead somewhere...I think haha*

3. Delusional Drake

She sat still after re-buttoning her shirt, perched on the edge of the couch. Her mind was still trying to decipher why he wouldn't kiss her, she made it as clear as she could. Holding his face with both hands and gently nudging her nose against his yet he refused without words, only continuing to stroke in and out of her at an overwhelming pace before moving his face to her neck. There it remained until they both climaxed. Still sat on the edge of the couch she was waiting for him to start speaking like nothing had happened, like he always did. She couldn't be angry at him for that though, she did it too.

"What time's this dinner thing?" He finally spoke after pulling his shirt back over his head.

"Six. Why? You ready to go now?" Standing up she turned to look down at him. She'd never really taken the time to admire the way he looked. Of course it was obvious he was blessed in the appearance department but she hadn't properly studied his complexion, until now.

"Well, it's nearin' that time." He pulled his eyes away from his watch and starting pulling his shoes on. "We could make a move, I guess. Is Mica ready?"

"I'll go get him sorted." Tugging her shirt back into place she made her way upstairs, finally giving him space to think without her trying to read his face. He knew what she wanted but he just couldn't do it, as soon as his lips would have touched hers he just knew he wouldn't be able to cage up his feelings as well as he was now. Their relationship had already been slightly damaged by the using of one another for sex and letting his feelings out at a time like this would be destructive. Especially for Nicki. If only he could reach into her mind and see what she really wanted.

Clicking in each button on his babygro she gently picked him back up again, his grumpy whimpers becoming more distinct as she made her way back downstairs. Thankfully his stroller had dried off since he'd probably be laying asleep in it for the whole dinner. She honestly wasn't even sure what this dinner was for, she'd heard of actual wedding rehearsals but a dinner rehearsal? What was there to rehearse for at a dinner? She shook her head and positioned herself in the lounge room doorway. Drake was still sat silently. He was never this quiet after they'd pleased one another. In fact it was always the opposite, almost as if he would try and compensate by talking endlessly to try and get their minds on to other topics.

"Drake?"

"Hm?" He turned around quickly before smiling. "You ready?"

"Yeah, hopefully he'll nod off again in the car." Keeping her focus on Mica she could avoid his gaze. "You think you could deal with the stroller? I parked a few houses down. There were no spaces."

"Sure." Standing up he grabbed his wallet from the coffee table. "You go on ahead, here are your keys." Placing them in her hand he watched her head for the front door. "I just gotta make sure everythin's locked, I'll catch you up." She swiped Mica's blanket from his stroller and wrapped it around him before she entered the cold outside air. He fell asleep within minutes on the walk to her car, his tiny head resting gently under her chin. At least she wouldn't have to be worrying about trying to keep a five month old quiet in the restaurant now.

***

"No that's the one I didn't like!" She laughed with a scrunched up face remembering the distinct taste of garlic shrimp.

"Really? I thought it tasted so good." Looking back at the TV he carried on smiling before looking back at her. He'd kindly offered to stay the night at hers since Max was away and she was worried about being home alone with Mica. Not to mention he could use the company as well. The rehearsal dinner went well but Mica's grouchy wails called for an early departure, thankfully Nicki managed to calm him and the touchy tot was fast asleep in his crib.

"What?" Her random question snapped him out of this thoughts as she continued to look at him, trying to work out what was going on in his head.

"Nothin' I was just thinkin' 'bout how happy your brother looked today."

"I know! That grin did not leave his face for the whole meal!" She grinned widely. "I'm happy for him though."

"Yeah." He agreed happily before the smile slowly faded. "I want that one day."

"You mean what Lani has?"

"And you and Max. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left in the dust a lil' bit y'know? Everyone's off havin' kids and gettin' married, where am I?" The clear misery was obvious in his voice.

"You're on your way to becoming something great." She licked her lips and studied the side of his face before intertwining their hands. "You'll have that too one day. Maybe not right now, but one day."

"I'mma take your word on that." He laughed as she patted his hand, which was still wrapped around hers. As she looked down, the sight before her triggered a memory from only weeks ago.

"Remember when you came to see me after I had Mica? How mean you were?"

"I was just sayin' I thought he woulda had more hair than he did!" His wide smile made her copy him involuntarily.

"Yeah but you was laughing at my bald baby!" She forced her smirk into a pout.

"He's his Father's son. I was just pointin' it out."



"Yeah, I'm here to see Onika Samson?"

"She's in room 409 on Maternity." The woman behind the desk smiled sweetly after searching the computer for her name. "You can't miss it. The door is to the right of the elevator."

"Thanks." He nodded gratefully and headed in the direction in which he was instructed. He didn't know why but he was beginning to feel more and more nervous as he approached the elevator doors. The ride up didn't ease his growing anxiety any as he inspected the bouquet of flowers he was clutching. Why did he even bring them? What if she thought it was too much? He shook his head in response. She just had a baby, flowers should be expected. Before he got chance to spark up another question the 'ding' he heard indicated that he'd reached his designated floor. After taking a deep breath he double checked the number before entering, he'd expected to see her bed surrounded by family members cooing and smiling but it was just Nicki.

"Oh my God, you made it!" Her face lit up instantly seeing his figure walk through the door before he made his way over and hugged her lightly.

"Yeah, I got an early flight back just for you." Kissing her forehead he lay the flowers on her side table. "I gotchu these, I wasn't sure what to bring." The way he rubbed at his neck let her know he was nervous. She couldn't figure why though.

"I love them, thank you. There's a seat behind you, pull it over." Doing as he was asked he took a seat right by her bed as she admired the flowers next to her. "You just missed Max and everybody, they left to get showered up and stuff. They'll be back later."

"I thought I seen'm leavin'." He smiled up at her, she looked exhausted and pale but still amazingly beautiful. "So, where is the little man?"

"Right over here." She motioned to her other side and there he was. All snuggled up in a wheeled hospital crib beside her. He honestly hadn't even seen him when he entered but didn't waste any time making his way around to see the small baby. 

"So, this is bump?"

"Yes sir, in the flesh." She chuckled softly. "You can hold'm if you want?"

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not! Don't be silly." Having said that she still kept a close eye on how he handled her baby but what new Mother wouldn't? Relaxing as soon as Mica was securely nestled in his arms she sat back some more and tried to read his face. "What're you thinking?"

"Hm?" He looked up from the tiny infant and connected eyes with her.

"You look like you're thinking mad hard. S'on your mind?" She tilted her head and squinted a little whilst patting the side of her bed, inviting him to sit. He obliged before speaking.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, talk to me." She rubbed his arm gently before moving her touch to Mica's soft head.

"Your baby is bald." The amusement in his tone made her mouth drop in horrification.

"How are you abouta make fun of my baby like that?" She pouted dramatically.

"I'm sorry, but look!" He gently ran his finger over the top of Mica's head and laughed as the very few tufts of hair became stuck up. This was obviously super amusing to him but she knew that wasn't what was on his mind but a very poor attempt at side-tracking her. It didn't work though.

"You're so wrong for that. I'm waitin' for the day when he's big enough to give you an ass whoopin'." Staring sternly at him she folded her lips. "I know that ain't what's botherin' you though. I'm your best friend, Aubrey. I know somethin's up. Tell me."

"You're too good at that. Way too good." Shaking his head he let the real issue come to light, he took his time saying it though. "I just...After you told me you didn't know who the Father was I couldn't-"

"He's Max's, don't worry." She gave him a tired, dimpled smile. Displaying her pure relief that Mica wasn't his but the uncomfortable silence made her frown. His heart honestly felt as though it shattered as he stared down at her baby. Ever since she'd told him she wasn't sure who was the Father he'd planted the idea in his head that Mica was definitely his. He didn't know why, he just had a gut feeling that things were supposed to be this way. Obviously life had other plans for him. The disappointment on his face was quite clear.

"Aubrey, did you want him to be-" She was cut off suddenly by none other than Max himself as he walked through the door smiling proudly.

"Hey baby, sorry I took a while." He kissed her lovingly before pulling away. "Your Mom insisted on feedin' us all before we came back."

"Don't worry about it, I knew she'd start fussin' about y'all anyway. Never mind poor old Onika sat alone in the hospital." She rolled her eyes but smiled when Drake cleared his throat. "I didn't forget you! I'm glad you came, Drake. Thank you!" She emphasised her words until his lips turned up into a smile. 

"Drake, I didn't know you were comin' in today, Nic said you were away?"

"Yeah, I was." He paused and delicately handed Mica back into his Father's arms. "I caught an earlier flight, I got some stuff to sort out here."

"Well, it was nice of you to drop by." His focus never left the baby as he took Drake's previous seat in the chair by Nicki's bedside after kissing her again.

"No problem and congratulations to the both of you."

"Thanks." His focus didn't falter but Nicki's did.

"Wait, you're not leavin' already are you?"

"Yeah, I got a bunch of stuff to sort out. Sorry, Nic." He moved swiftly over to her and kissed her cheek. "I'll come see you later on in the week, you'll be home by then right?"

"Shit, I hope so!"

"Aight, I'll see you later then." With a soft rub of her arm he winked and left without another word. She knew it was Max's return that had made him uncomfortable but she wished he'd stayed. She missed him.



"Ever since then I been wanting to ask you that question."

"What question?" He looked at her with confusion.

"I started askin' you somethin' and Max walked in." She shuffled towards him on the couch some more. "You wanted Mica to be yours, didn't you?" The softness in her voice wasn't accusative, nor was it angry. Just curious.

"I'm not even gonna lie." He rubbed at his neck, the jitters getting the best of him. "I thought he was, I hoped he was but I guess that ain't the way it was s'posed to be, right?"

"Well, yeah. Max is my husband, it'd only be right for Mica to be his child." The attitude in her words was starting to become more evident.

"Look, Nicki I didn't wanna start shit so please? Just forget I said anythin'."

"Okay, so let's just pretend just for a minute that Mica really was yours. Then what?"

"I'onno Nic! You're takin' this too seriously! All I said was I kinda hoped that the baby you were carryin' was mine! What's wrong with wantin' a family?"

"There is nothin' wrong with wanting a family, Drake. But wanting a family with a person who you ain't even romantically linked to is completely ridiculous!" She stood up quickly, grabbing their plates from the coffee table as she marched through to the kitchen and dumped them in the sink angrily.

"Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?" He frowned with pure anger as he waved his finger between them.

"Oh my God." She scoffed. "Seriously? You think we're romantically linked? You're fucking delusional!" She shook her head and leant against the counter before crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "The only link we share is a sexual one."

"Oh really? So, all the years we've spent as best friends? That means fuck all to you?!" He inched closer to her as she sighed regretfully.

"I didn't mean it like tha-"

"You know what, save it. I don't need to hear any more." He stepped back and pulled away when she tried to grab his wrist. Slamming his fist loudly on the table in a moment of anger. He knew that was a selfish move, even more so when he heard Mica's faint cries.

"Thanks a lot." Not even bothering to hide her tears she pushed past him roughly and marched up the stairs, leaving him to feel bad about the way he behaved. Entering his room quietly she leant over into his crib and picked him out. Cooing sweetly to him as her tears continued to roll down her cheeks. That argument had been in the making for a while, it was only a matter of time before it surfaced. She sniffled and kept on rocking Mica in her arms but he wouldn't settle. "C'mon baby, please? Mommy's tired." Reasoning with a five month old made her sound crazy but she honestly couldn't give two shits at that point. He wasn't co-operating anyway and cried even harder before she sat him upright in her arms and bounced him lightly. She felt like a true fool, the more he cried the more she struggled to control her emotions.

"Let me take him, you look exhausted." Jumping at the sound of his voice she turned to look at him fiercely.

"Aubrey, just go. Please?"

"No. You're tired, stressed and run-down. I shouldn't have acted like such a dick, I'm sorry." Taking small steps towards her he felt terrible seeing her cry because of him. It wasn't in his nature to act cruelly towards anyone. Especially Nicki. She sniffled yet again and kept on trying to soothe her child, only coming to a standstill when she clocked Drake's outstretched arms.

"I'll take him, I don't mind." He could see her decision ticking over in her mind before she slowly handed the small, screaming baby over to him.

"There are bottles made up in the fridge, just microwave one 'til it's warm." Not making any sort of eye contact she kissed Mica's head and left the room quickly as the tears became harder to control. He continued to calm him as Nicki was before and watched her leave the room.

Letting herself into her bedroom she shut the door swiftly, blocking out her baby's distressed mewls. Why did she feel like such a wreck after one extremely pathetic argument? It wasn't even an argument, just a harsh exchange of words. Her mind was all over the place trying to think of an answer as she started running a bath. It wouldn't cure her from feeling so down but it'd definitely take the edge off.

It was a good forty-five minutes before she surfaced from her room again. At first she was alarmed because of how silent the house was but as she neared the lounge-room she could hear Drake muttering nonsense to Mica. She smiled weakly at the sight before her. He was sat comfortably on the couch with Mica resting in his arms, he was only just beginning to feed him by the looks of it. God knows what had taken him so long.

"How does your Mommy do this?" He frowned at the bottle and shook it. "Damn, that's hot." Releasing the tight grip he had on the bottle he held it with his fingertips to ease the burn before taking it up to his mouth and testing the temperature himself. Stood in the doorway she couldn't help but smirk following it up with a giggle.

"What are you doing?" Her small voice startled him, making him look to where she was walking towards the pair of them.

"Seein' how hot it is. Why, is that not how you do it?"

"I usually drip it on my wrist." She sat down next to him, still smirking a little.

"What's so funny?" He smiled too, not knowing why she was looking so smug.

"You do know that's my breast milk, right?" She smiled again as he stared intently at the bottle.

"Well then, I guess I should compliment you. That's some pretty good stuff you got." He laughed and motioned to taste it again when she stopped him.

"Stop, you're a goddamn fool." Shaking her head and grinning slightly she glanced back down at Mica as he started to become impatient again. "You want me to take him?"

"Nah, I'm good. Unless of course you don't wa-"

"It's fine, Aubrey. You can feed him." Leaning back into the couch she tucked her feet up and watched on as he bottle-fed her child before speaking up again. "Look, I'm sorry 'bout what I said earlier. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Don't apologise, I should be the one doin' that. I exploded for no reason, I'm sorry too." He glimpsed sideways at her and smiled. She loved when he did that, it felt like something he only ever did to her. Something that made her feel special. Having lay in the tub for so long she'd been thinking about a couple things. One which she found herself constantly wondering about.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if things were different? If Mica really was yours?"

"All the time."

"How do you see it?"

"It's real crazy, like, I always picture the three of us together. Just doin' normal family stuff y'know?" He became shy towards the end of his spoken dream. "But that's just what I was thinkin' when I thought he coulda been mine. Max is a lucky guy." All the while he spoke Nicki remained silent next to him, her full concentration on the words he spoke. "Why, how do you see it?"

"You mean us?"

"Yeah, if he was my son. How d'you think things would be?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." She smiled nervously and played with the hem of her pyjama shorts. "I guess I've never really thought about it." Lying through her teeth she folded her lips and quickly changed the subject. "I'mma go make us a drink, he'll be asleep soon. When he's done give me a shout and I'll put him to bed." She talked on her way to the kitchen, feeling his eyes on her every step she took.

She was right. Within twenty minutes Mica was fast asleep and she'd lay him down in his crib for the second and hopefully the last time that night. Hitting the light switch on the way out she pulled his door closed a little behind her, bumping into Drake in the hallway.

"Oh, I put some fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room and the towels are by the tub." She smiled up at him momentarily. "I think I'm gonna call it a night, I feel like a zombie."

"Aight and thanks, I'll see you in the mornin'." Leaning down he went to kiss her cheek as she turned, causing him to catch her lips briefly. "Sorry, I'm sorry I ain't mean to-" The worry on his face was adorable.

"Don't worry about it." Glancing at her feet nervously she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to hide her blushing cheeks and smitten smile. "I'll uhm, I'll just see you in the mornin' then."

"Yeah. G'night, Nic." He watched her walk away, that feeling building up in his stomach was the one he feared the most.

...

*Thanks for reading and YES, Onikafaree readers who might be reading this, I will be updating either Catch Me or When Two Worlds Collide next :) Sorry if this was super boring, I feel like it dragged on forever but I didn't wanna make it last too long so more interesting stuff will be happening next chapter :) And I'm a little stuck on Sweet Dreams right now but the chapter is on its way! Thanku for all the previous comments ^_^*