"Mhm....What? No, I just....I wish you'd tell me these things instead of runnin' off and leavin' me with a note, Max." She held the phone to her ear and used her hands to lay a sleeping Mica gently in his crib. "Why can't you just talk to me? Is it really that difficult?" There was silence as she listened to his excuse and left Mica's room. "Mkay....Alright, whatever. I'll talk to you later....Love you too." Hanging the phone up in a strop she threw it on to her bed and sighed.
"Was that Max?"
"Yeah." There was a short silence. "He's comin' home tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? I thought he was gon' be away for eight days?" Moving closer to her tiny frame he wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his head on her shoulder.
"Mm, I did too."
"So, what happens now?"
"What do you mean?" Frowning a little she rested her hands over his as they lay around her waist still.
"I mean with us, what's gon' happen?"
"Drake, please. I don't even know what fuckin' day it is let alone what the hell I'mma do about all of this." She pushed his hands from her and headed into the bathroom with him following.
"I'm not askin' you to make a decision, you know that right?"
"I know you're not but I can't keep switchin' between the both of you like this. It's not fair, to anyone."
"Why? We've been doin' this since before you even met Max."
"That ain't the point, Aubrey. And besides, it's different now. How many times do I have to say that?" She raised her voice a little and began to undress as he sat himself on the side of the bath tub.
"What, because we voiced our feelin's? Nic, that makes no difference. Those feelin's were always there and always will be." He stood up and walked over to her as she removed her shorts. "I don't know about you but I've always felt this way."
"And you know I have too-"
"So then what's the problem?"
"Aubrey-"
"It's just the same as before, only better." He smiled and pulled her reluctant frame closer, unclasping her bra at the same time as they once again pressed their bare chests against one another.
"How's it better? I feel like a cheatin' low life."
"You're not one of those, I promise you." Leaning down he kissed her delicately before pulling away to stare at her again. Just the way she looked at him was enticing enough, he'd never experienced anything like this before and nor had she.
"I'm havin' an affair with my best friend slash fuck buddy." She smirked up at him and managed to make him smile.
"Well, when you put it like that-"
"Drake!" As soon as she shrieked his name and slapped his chest he couldn't restrain his laughter.
"I'm just playin' Nic! But really though." He turned serious again and re-embraced her. "If Max had been a better husband, would you still be lookin' to me for affection and satisfaction?" Sweeping the hair from her face he continued to study her expression as she thought. She looked so cute and pensive.
"No, I guess not." Moving closer to him she let him envelope his arms all the way around her whilst she rested her head on his chest. "But he's such a great Father and I-"
"Is he?"
"Yeah of course he is! Why would you even say that?"
"What's he ever done with Mica?"
"He pays-"
"Nah." He interrupted her yet again, making her become frustrated. "So he's a good Father 'cause he pays for stuff?" He moved back to look her in the eye. "I meant what does he actually do with Mica that makes him such a great Father?"
That question stumped her. She honestly couldn't remember the last time Max did anything with their child. He fed him a couple times after he was born when she was too tired and maybe changed a few diapers here and there but other than that he really paid him no interest.
"Nothing. I can't even remember the last time I even saw him holdin' Mica." By the small frown on her face he could tell she was only just realising how things were. Obviously with her own Dad being very absent she just assumed sticking around was the best quality in a Father. And so Max's payments and financial security made him the best Father ever in her eyes, but now things had been brought to light.
"I'm not tryin' paint him in a bad way, Nic. I just need for you to see that you and Mica deserve a lot more than what he's offerin'."
Nothing else was said as her mind slipped into a state of turmoil. She couldn't carry on like this, she'd have to choose whether she liked it or not. It wasn't so much the decision that was scaring her but the gamble that went with it. Should she stay with Max and ensure herself and Mica a struggle free life and be miserable, or should she take a chance at being happy and hope things turn out for the best? Right now, trusting on only hope was a dangerous bet she wasn't sure she was ready to make.
***
"I can't believe you managed to talk me into this." She shook her head and unstrapped mica from his car seat. His little swimming shorts almost looking like a trousers in his tiny legs.
"It'll be fun and besides when was the last time you did this?" He stood proudly and looked out across the beach.
"I don't remember and I don't want to. You had this planned."
"Obviously, I had to go buy Mica some shorts." He turned around to look at them both as she stood sourly, her shades covering her angry eyes and Mica taking in these new surroundings.
"Well, don't think you're takin' my baby out to sea. The bath tub is scary enough."
"He can come paddle with me, come on." He grabbed her bags and towels and let her follow as they made their way on to the sand. Honestly she was actually very happy to be out of the house and doing something with Mica but at the same time she still had that horrible nagging question at the back of her mind. Who was she going to choose? Stepping on to the sand was the best feeling to her, the last time she'd been on a beach was when her and Max first met. A long time ago, it felt good to be back.
After choosing a spot, they set up the umbrella and lay their towels out to sit on. It wasn't super busy but there were a fair few people out enjoying the day with their kids.
"You comin' in with me?"
"Nope, go by yourself. We don't wanna get all wet and cold." She pulled Mica up and held him again since she'd only just managed to clean all of the sand out of his mouth. He'd once again rolled on to his belly and got stuck, eating a mouthful of sand in the process.
"What? Come on, Nic. I promise we won't go far." He stared down, giving her the face she could never say no to.
"Oh my God, fine." Helping herself up on to her feet she plopped Mica's little sun hat on and held him more securely. "But we're only paddling and we're going no further than my knees." She was feeling kind of apprehensive about the fact that Mica was only five months old. He couldn't even sit up unaided let alone go off swimming.
"That's all I'm askin'." He held his hand out for her to grab and led her down to the waters edge. She hated to admit it but it did feel nice to dip her toes in and Mica obviously recognised this was a different experience since he started to kick his legs around and squawk a little.
"It's so warm, I love it." She smiled and turned to face him as he took Mica.
"Has he ever been to the beach before?"
"Nope, this is his first time."
"Well, we should prolly introduce him to the ocean then." He turned Mica around in his arms so instead of being chest to chest he was holding him with his little back to his own torso.
"Aubrey, don't go too far." She felt her heart quicken as Drake began wading into the water with her baby, prompting her to follow.
"It's fine, Nic. See, he likes it." He smiled at his little legs kicking faster as soon as his toes touched the water.
"Please, I don't-"
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do but-"
"So it's fine then, that's all there is to it. You trust me and you know nothin's gon' happen to him." He looked in to her shaded eyes and made her relax a little. "Come on."
She took his hand which he offered out to her and let him take them in a little further. Thankfully he stopped when the water reached just below his rib-cage. Mica's whole body was submerged though and she'd never seen him look so happy.
"He looks so goofy." She laughed when he threw his small fists up and down and hit the water excitedly before Drake let her take him. Today was something she honestly needed, some fun out with her best friend and her baby. One last day of fun before Max returned and things went back to how they were.
The rest of the day was spent at the beach, just lounging around and going in and out of the ocean before they decided to make a move. Nicki couldn't believe how long they'd been out for, it went so fast and now here they were sat in the parked car eating ice cream. Mica was long gone, he'd fallen asleep almost two hours ago and was still out for the count in his car seat.
"You have fun today?"
"Are you kidding? That was the most fun I've had in a long time." She smiled and licked her ice cream some more. "Thank you, Aubrey. I really needed it."
"You don't have to thank me, it was fun. I love spendin' time with you guys." Looking back at Mica he smiled. "He definitely had a fun day."
"I know! I've never seen such a gummy smile." She laughed and covered her mouth politely. He could tell there was something on her mind that was bothering her and even though today helped her forget, even for just a minute, but as soon as she was home again it would be back. Before he got chance to ask, she beat him to it. "Aubrey, there's somethin' I wanna say."
"Go ahead, I'm listenin'."
"It's about you and me. This thing we have." There was silence as he waited for her to continue. "I just want you to know that I really do love you and I'll still help you with your tape but I'm not ready to walk away from Max. I can't do it, I-"
"Hey." He grabbed her arms gently once he'd finished his cone. "Stop worryin' about it. I meant what I said this mornin', I'm not gon' make you choose. Max is your husband, I understand that."
"But I wanna keep what we have together." She motioned between them and looked down. "I'ont wanna lose this feeling I have but I'ont wanna risk losing everything else, y'know what I'm sayin'?"
"I get it, Nic." His voice was so soft and gentle, it always seemed to put her at ease whenever he spoke to her. "So what are you sayin'?"
"I don't even know. I guess, I wanna carry on how we were but I'm not ready to make a decision yet."
"So, nothin' changes? We stay how we were?" She nodded shyly and looked up to see the disappointment in his face. It was heart-breaking to see him so sad because of her. "I'm not gonna say no, Nicki. If this is the only way I can be with you right now then I'll take it."
"I'm not sayin' that I'll never make a decision. I will, I promise I will. I just need time."
"Time?"
"To think things over."
"But you said you loved me."
"I know and I'm not saying that I don't."
"Then what's makin' this decision so difficult for you?"
"I'm scared, Aubrey!" Her loud yell was followed by an even louder silence. "Beyond that, even! I'm fuckin' terrified of what might happen if things go wrong! What I might lose." She toned down her voice when she remembered Mica was sleeping, not to mention the fact that Drake looked deeply regretful about pressing her for answers.
"I know." Sighing lengthily he turned back to face forward out of the windscreen. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be pressin' you."
"I just need to get things straight in my mind first." She touched his hand gently and smiled when he looked up at her. Deep down he was just praying she'd see sense and leave Max behind.
Only a state away, quite the opposite was happening. Max had been on the phone for nearly forty minutes trying to arrange his flight home for the next evening. He was having no such luck though.
"I'm sorry, sir." The young phone clerk scrolled through her computer whilst talking. "There are no flights going out tomorrow evening. The only available flights I can get you are 9:30pm this evening or 10pm and if not, the next available flights aren't 'til Thursday evening."
"So, there's absolutely none tomorrow?" Max's voice wavered with anger as he sat in the nearly empty conference room.
"No, sir."
"What's wrong?" Grant looked over at his employee and topped himself up another glass of brandy.
"They got no flights leavin' tomorrow, only tonight and Thursday." He covered the mouth piece as he answered his boss.
"Take the one tonight."
"Really? I thought we had another meetin' to attend tomorrow?"
"Yeah, we do but I can have Stan step in for you." He smiled and lit up a cigar. "Go on, go home. You earned it."
"Thanks." He was slightly taken aback but wasn't about to argue himself into more work. Pulling the phone back to his mouth he let the young girl know which flight he was taking and headed back to his room to pack. More than ready to return home and start acting like the husband he should have been from the start.
***
"Can you not do that?" She scowled and looked back at the TV sleepily.
"Why?" He asked as he continued to watch over the footage he had on his video camera whilst she lay comfortably between his legs.
"'Cause I'm tryin' to watch this." Pointing the nail file at the TV he took notice and turned the sound down on his camera as she resumed filing her nails.
"My bad."
"What are you doin' anyhow?"
"Just lookin' over things."
"Pervin' on me you mean."
"So? Can you blame me?" He laughed and set his "baby" down on the sheets next to him before snaking his arms under hers and resting them on her abdomen.
"Not really." Chuckling along with him she suddenly went silent as she trailed back into her thoughts.
"What's up?"
"Nothin'...I was just thinkin'."
"About?"
There was a lengthy pause before she turned to face him, kneeling between his legs.
"What you said the other day, y'know? About havin' another girl with us-"
"Nicki." He rubbed her thighs soothingly. "It's fine, really. If you're not comfortable with that we don't have to do it. I don't mind."
"No, I want to do it." She was speaking quietly which only added to the time it took him to realise what she'd said. "Only if you're still up for it though."
"You honestly don't mind doin' this?"
She shook her head and leaned over him some more. "As long as you pay more attention to me."
"Always." His voice hitched when he felt her tongue on his ear lobe, the shiver he experienced took his breath away momentarily as she moved down and began kissing on his neck.
"That's what I wanna hear." Speaking between kisses she soon trailed back up to his mouth and gave him one last kiss before hopping off the bed.
"You're wrong for that."
"What?" She widened her eyes innocently and shrugged some sweats on. "I gotta go feed Micapoo."
"Excuses."
"Whatever, come make us some food."
"What do I get in return?" He inquired curiously as he followed her down the stairs.
"Did I not just agree to have a threesome?"
"Word? That's why you agreed? So I'd slave my ass away in your kitchen?" He couldn't help but laugh at her as she shrugged before grabbing Mica's onesy from the laundry basket.
"You'll never know." Whipping him lightly with it she headed for the stairs. "I'mma bathe him and feed him up here. Surprise me with wuchoo cook."
Upon reaching Mica's room she entered quietly and carried him out to the bathroom. She wanted to bathe him the instant she got home but he was still sleeping. After filling the tub to an extremely shallow level she undressed him and held him in place in the tub as she cupped handfuls of water over him. He always looked so cute when he was shocked.
"Sorry baby, Mommy didn't wanna burn you though." Referring to the luke warm water she smiled down at his chubby little cheeks. Once the little amount of hair he had was washed she wrapped him in a towel and redressed him before finally sitting in the rocking chair to feed him. She enjoyed this time with him the most, it was the closest bond they'd ever share and she wanted to cherish it for as long as she could.
"Nic? Can I come in?" Drake's voice startled her a little.
"Yeah, course. Just leave the light off though."
He walked in slowly, scanning Mica's blue ducky decorated room. The nightlight glowing in the corner was his only source of light, but he could still see them clearly.
"You done cookin'?" She spoke in a low whisper.
"No." Smiling weakly he mimicked her hushed voice. "But my Mom just called, my uncle's been taken into hospital."
"Oh my God." She gasped quietly. "Is he okay?"
"Yeah, they think so. I'm gonna head over though, just in case."
"Sure, you should go. Tell me how things are when you get chance."
"I will." He moved over and kissed her lovingly before rubbing Mica's soft hair as he fed.
"And thanks again for today, I loved it."
"Any time." With one last smitten smile he turned and walked away, leaving Nicki to finally think clearly about what was going on in her life.
...
*THANKU so much for all the comments you guys are leaving :) I really love reading them. I promise things are gonna get more dramatic soon but you'll just have to wait! I'm gonna try and get posts done for Sweet Dreams, Sacrifice and Frozen this week. Hope this was okay and thanks for reading!*
